Whorror Review: Unnatural

Oh. My. LORT!!!  What is there to say....um, how can I write this and be nice?  I don't know.  Ok, here goes....

I just knocked out Unnatural, movie #2 on the 8 Films to Die For horror list that was released November 2015.  This movie takes place wayyyy up in the remote parts of Alaska where apparently a scientifically altered hybrid polar bear/wolf thing goes on a killing spree....

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Hot Dudes…Reading?

There’s a new phenomena sweeping the nation Internets, and it is hot dudes. Specifically, Hot Dudes Reading. Not just reading any old thing. We’re not talking about your boyfriend looking at his dumb phone for sports updates (is there some kind of ball game happening this weekend? I’ve heard rumors), this Instagram page is only for photos of attractive men reading of actual print books. I mean, who reads print books anymore? Um, hot dudes, apparently!

This Instagram account was first introduced to me by fellow librarians, who use it for *ahem* research, *cough cough.* We’ve been trying to up our social media game, and legit whomever writes for Hot Dudes is actually pretty damn entertaining. It doesn’t hurt that the subject matters are living works of art....

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The Real Story of the Oregon Militia

By Kristi

How many of you guys paying any attention to the standoff in Oregon?  Personally, I've been following along with a group of my closest 15,000+ friends in a closed Facebook Group called Snacks for YallQaeda.  

I don't even know how I stumbled on this group, but after I did, I realized I was home.  15,000+ of the snarkiest and sarcastic liberal/hippies I've seen.  

In this group, we've all stayed up on the events going on in Oregon and many of our members live in/near the area and are angry at the destruction of the sanctuary and desecration of the native american artifacts.  

I'd call these militia guys/girls terrorists, but honestly, they're too stupid for me to classify them as such. They've created their own narrative of what the constitution means and have decided to arm themselves to fight or die on behalf of their delusions and conspiracies.  

Oh...and they couldn't even prepare with snacks and vanilla creamer.  

This article wasn't written about them, though I needed the backstory to explain how I ended up with this:

You're welcome, ladies.

There was, for once, a serious post on Snacks a few weeks ago saying the FBI have finally grown tired of this nonsense and have arrived in Oregon.  They came to eat snacks and kick ass.....and they're all out of snacks.

Photo editing courtesy of a fellow Snacktivist

Photo editing courtesy of a fellow Snacktivist

The poster included the above photo in his post and me along with hundreds of ladies all swooned and immediately wished we'd taken over a bird sanctuary.  Holy Hotness, Batman!!  The group went wild, a new group was started in honor of who we dubbed "Agent McSteamy"  and then more and more photos popped up of the FBI teams.  

Where the hell did they get these guys??  How hard is it for a 40'ish year old woman to join the FBI?  Why is McSteamy in plain clothes and the others all dressed in tactical gear?  

So color me shocked that FBI agents are hot. Really, really hot.  They are good looking and then factor in all that toughness and training to protect and *SWOON*.

I say we demand our rights and tell them if they don't do an FBI calendar we will take over the Grand Canyon or some other government owned land.  I mean, it's in the constitution!
We have the right to see hot FBI agents bare arms.....and legs....you get the idea.

Who's with me??

Also, big shoutout to the FBI for handling this to the best of their abilities and getting the main morons with only one casualty.  Let's hope for the sake of their families, the rest are detained in the same fashion.

Fry Guy doesn't seem like he's going to be able to tough it out much longer.  Boxes of dildos and 50 gallons of lube probably don't tame the hunger pains.

 

 

 

Book Whore Review: A Twofer – The Past and The Good Neighbor

By June Cleavedit

Happy Hump Day! I hope your week is going better than mine – I had a stomach virus Monday and Tuesday, and things are slow-going today. My only regret is that the bug didn’t last longer since I have my final DietBet weigh-in Sunday (fingers crossed).

I’ve read several books in the past month, but I just couldn’t bring myself to write a review. As I stated in my last Sunday Shit post, I want to focus on new(ish) releases, so I wiped off the dust on my Kindle and got busy.

This weekend I finished two books – The Past by Tessa Hadley, and The Good Neighbor by A.J. Banner. One was a worthwhile purchase, while the other just pissed me off. 

The Past (released Sept. 2015, 362 pages, 3.4 stars on Goodreads) is about three sisters and a brother who spend three weeks at their grandparents home, an annual family holiday tradition. The only difference about this holiday is it may be their last. The family home is crumbling down around them, and the siblings are faced with the hard decision to sell.

The book opens in the present. Harriet (the eldest, activist turned mouse), Roland (the second eldest, father of teenage Molly, and husband of a new, third wife), Alice (the drama queen) and Fran (parent of young children Ivy and Arthur, married to Josh, a musician) are forced together out of family tradition, and you sense the tension between siblings immediately.

Hadley has a keen ability to develop characters in a short amount of time, drawing in the reader with each page turn. I felt invested in the dysfunctional family (much like my own) – so I read the damn thing in three hours.

Teenage sex, lesbian longing, loudmouth sisters, spoiled brats and a dead dog are just a few situations Hadley wove into the present. One key thing missing was a glimpse of the adult siblings’ parents.

Enter the past.  Jill carries her three children to her childhood home. Mother Sophy is an understanding woman who offers nothing but support and poet/vicar father Grantham Fellowes is proud, but loving father. Jill, who previously escaped the small town of Kington with her left-wing journalist husband, has found out about an affair, and flees without a word. She seeks out a job and a place to live – and maybe a man or two.

Back to the present. The family tension erupts in several difference circumstances – and it was easy to feel the embarrassment and rage the characters displayed. There’s a shocker at the end (one I already guessed, but damn, it’s pretty good), and then…the story ends. You can only imagine what happens to each character (something I rather like). It reminded me a tad of Elizabeth Stroud’s Olive Kitteridge.

The book title is a tad misleading – it only slightly focuses on the longing of childhood memories. I believe the title is rooted in the huge transformation we’ve made from the 1960s until now.  

Bottom line. A good read. But not for those who like an ending packaged and tied with a big, red bow.

I’m not going to spend as much time on The Good Neighbor, because it’s bullshit. I know, I sound like a bitch, and I can’t comprehend how hard it is to write a book, so I applaud the effort. But I’m trying to help YOU out, not the author.

The Good Neighbor (Sept. 2015, 206 pages, 3.29 rating on Goodreads) by A.J. Banner is set in the beautiful pacific northwest. That’s about as good as it gets. I spent 1 hour hate-reading the book, cursing myself the entire time.

Marketed as a “psychological thriller,” there is NOTHING thrilling about this book. It was poorly written, had a totally predictable plot and barely a hint of character development. Everyone is beautiful and talented, then a house burns down, which prompts the main character (Sarah Phoenix – get it???? Lord have mercy) to question why. Everyone including her husband is a suspect. Then, after a lot of unnecessary dialogue and little action, it finally ends. The only question you are left with is “Why the fuck did I just read this?”

Oh, maybe it had something to do with the 4-star rating on Amazon. I don’t know how the hell that happened, but I refuse to rely on the site’s reviews any longer.

Bottom line – if you read this book, I will slap your face.